New York City Passes Law to Begin Executing Smokers

NEW YORK CITY – The Mayor and City Council of New York approved a bill earlier this month banning smoking in the city's 1,700 parks and along its 14 miles of city beaches. But yesterday it was announced that another bill with much harsher repercussions will be signed into law.

On Monday, Mayor Michael Bloomberg and the City Council passed an ordinance that will allow the NYPD to begin executing cigarette smokers beginning as early as October, 2011. Although most New Yorkers are unconcerned with people smoking cigarettes outdoors, Mayor Bloomberg claims that it is in the best interest of society if well trained NYPD snipers begin systematically executing people who smoke within city limits, including parks and cemeteries.

"We recently passed a law that made it illegal to smoke in parks, but after that law was passed I sensed an unease in my well being. I lay awake one night and, instead of thinking about the billions of dollars I'm worth, I thought about the reality that while I lay there hundreds of people were walking our streets smoking cigarettes! Just wandering down the sidewalks puffing away on cigarettes without a care in the world for our children, the elderly and all the people who don't have cancer yet."

The Mayor broke off his statement to compose himself. A very tiny tear struggled through the duct of his left eye before he self-consciously wiped it away. He cleared his throat and continued.

"The image in my head of some self-consumed nicotine junkie walking outside apartment buildings where children live stabbed at me like a sharp paring knife. What if a child happens to look out a window at the same time that smoker passes by? I thought to myself. If the child sees the smoker smiling, that kid will get the wrong message about cigarettes and maybe even start smoking one day himself!

The Mayor grimaced at the idea.

"The thought of a small child destroying itself with tobacco stuck in my wealthy craw and I realized I had to do something. So I called my accountant."

Surprisingly, a few citizens of New York City that spoke with The Daily Rash approved of the measure to kill cigarette smokers.

"When I walk down my street on the upper west side and see the buses and taxis and cars emitting the poison that causes global warming, I get sick. But when I see someone puffing on a cigarette, then I get down right angry!" barked Mary Carson. "At least a bus is a mode of transportation for the poor! At least a taxi employs a third world Muslim! But a cigarette smoker is clogging up my lungs for one purpose only: their selfish pleasure! So I say, shoot them! And shoot to kill!"

Geneva Sanders was grocery shopping in Greenwich Village. "I know that when my teenage son started smoking cigarettes in the late 1950?s, it caused him to eventually shoot heroin in his veins and rob that bodega where he killed an old bald guy and two Nuns. A month later he was mowed down by FBI gunfire in Philly. So I admit, I have a vendetta against the tobacco companies. Every time the NYPD kills a smoker it's going to be less profit for the tobacco companies who killed my baby boy!"

"I want them to kill smokers because it will give me something to look forward to," remarked Tim Young of Hells Kitchen.

"I just don't think they should kill them," lamented Molly Oswald of Stuyvesant Town. "Maybe they could use rubber bullets or poisoned bullets! Poison that would make them really sick, you know, maybe give them kidney infections or something. Then maybe the smoker would rethink their decision to give us all cancer."

Jake Greene, an usher at a popular Broadway theater didn't mince his words. "Kill them! They're trying to kill us with their second hand smoke. Hell, if somebody breaks into my house with a bag full of cancer, I'm going to kill them before they throw cancer all over me and my family. What's the difference between a burglar with a bag of cancer and a guy smoking next to ya at the beach? Huh?"

But Shirley Miller of Battery Park thought the city should show compassion

"I don't think they should kill them, but maybe they could make them go to Staten Island to smoke. They could have a special ferry to take them every few hours or so. People on Staten Island won't care. And even if they do, it doesn't matter."

NY Police Chief Ray Kelly has already begun training sharp shooters for what the police are calling "Operation Bag 'em and Tag 'em." He estimates the slaughter of thousands by springtime.

"We may lose thousands of smokers, but think of the thousands of lives we're saving from the apocryphal horrors of second hand smoke."

Taken from The DAILY RASH

The Smoking-Ban in Andalucia - Spain

Some weeks ago I reported on my recent trip to Paris, and how the smoking ban was affecting smokers there. Since then I have had to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous Government legislation, along with my fellow smokers in this country, but to be fair, the weather here has been so mild of late, that it has been a pleasure, rather than a pain, to be forced outside to enjoy a smoke. Even so, I still couldn’t wait to get back to my spiritual home in Spain, in the hope of experiencing even better weather than we have been experiencing here, and of course to see how the recently introduced smoking ban is affecting our freedom there.

Andalucians on the whole, are a strong race of people who don’t take easily to bans and restrictions of any kind. If a sign says ‘No Perro’ (no dogs), then you can guarantee you will find at least half a dozen of our fury friends scampering around this area, leaving neat little piles, resembling melted sausages, while their owners look happily on as they stand and chat to their friends. This same mentality also applies to car parking, where drivers park completely across zebra crossings and street corners, if normal parking is unavailable.

How then, I wondered, would they take to the recently introduced smoking-ban? They won’t accept it piecemeal, as we have done, not the strong, rebellious Spaniards surely?

Malaga Airport has always been somewhat anti-smoking, so I accepted that, but when I got into my hire car and found two separate signs, one on the window and one on the ash-tray, of all places, stating ‘NO SMOKING’ I immediately peeled off the ‘NO’ leaving just the ‘SMOKING’ bit. That will at least confuse the next person to get that car won’t it?

My first port of call was, as always, a fishing port called Torre del Mar, where I always stop off for lunch at El Yate, which is my favourite restaurant along that coast, selling every type of fish and shell fish imaginable, and also where Raffa, the owner, smokes non stop, as well as the bar staff. El Yate boasts a very large outside seating area, which as usual, was packed to capacity; our table was reserved there, as we had booked it by phone when we picked up our car earlier. Naturally, almost everyone in our area was smoking, it is outside anyway, so no change there then, but when I glanced inside, which is an enormous bar area, with just a few stools for seating, and was packed to capacity, absolutely no one was smoking, not even Raffa, who came to the door to smoke his cigarette. What was happening here I wondered, especially with Raffa, he who displays photos on his wall of his wild boar hunting exploits in the mountains, and drives an enormous Jeep, nearly as big as a London bus? He is a real Andalucian, a man in every aspect; maybe he knows that the police will be paying him a visit, I thought, but I am afraid to say that this wasn’t the case, for I visited El Yate on quite a few occasions while we were there, and this, I am afraid to say, was the situation every time.

Further down the coast, in Almunecar, which is in the province of Granada, and where I have never seen a policeman patrolling the streets, apart from those in cars, the situation seemed the same, but as the majority of bars and restaurants have outside areas, it didn’t seem to matter to most people. There is however one little bar called Los Pajaritos, in a very narrow and sloping backstreet. Definitely no room for an outside area there; just the owner behind the bar and his wife and daughter in the kitchen. The place is packed with locals, mostly standing and drinking beer from bottles, as he never offers you a glass, toilets are behind two tin doors, which lead directly into the smallest areas imaginable, and the noise from chatting and laughing plus the constant din of the corner TV is unbelievable. He won’t stand for this silly no smoking nonsense I told myself, not old Pararitos Joe. The first thing that caught my eye as we walked in was the old glass ashtrays placed all along the bar. Hooray I thought, at last, I knew Los Pajaritos wouldn’t let us down – but I am afraid to say it did; the ash trays were now being used for discarded prawn heads, and other pieces of tapas.

Doing the tapas trail is the recognised way of drinking and eating in Spain, each drink gets you a free tapas, and you get to meet many different people and eat all sorts of food, so from Los Pajaritos, we made our way to several other bars, all of which are outside, so once again, no problems there. It was while standing outside La Gala Bar that I noticed a new bar just across the street with a huge crowd outside. A new bar to me is like the proverbial red flag to a bull, and so within minutes we were over there, and pushing our way onto a rail that provided seating for us. Now this is where it gets interesting, for as I looked inside through the open window, sure enough there was a woman and a man, standing there smoking. They were close to the window, where the woman kept flicking her ash outside – but legally they were inside, and the owner didn’t give a hoot!

I was so impressed with the woman’s attitude that I tried to take a photo of her. I told her what I wanted it for, and I explained all about Forest in the UK, but instead of her staying in there and carrying on, she decided to come outside and join us. She was from northern Spain, which is known as the most politically correct part of Spain, where they are mostly left-wing, do not like smoking and have banned bullfighting; in other words, bloody boring! My wife and I went back to that bar on a number of different occasions after that, but didn’t unfortunately see the woman again, so I never got my photo of her, committing her ‘dreadful crime.’

Another town, which I quite like is Nerja, which is a lot more touristy than the other towns we visit, but does have a number of good tapas bars. This was a must, as you do get quite a lot of English people there, many of whom have been doing their hand waving dance since way before the ban, so I considered Nerja a must, on my journey of smoking discovery.

In the past, Nerja was known for its many fine restaurants, and there are still a large number of very good restaurants there, but over the past few years, habits have gradually changed, and more and more people are doing the tapas trail, and eating for free. As this has happened, so more and more tapas bars have opened up – all with outside seating areas. On this visit, even more had opened, especially at the western end of the town, which was absolutely fabulous for me, trying all these new tapas bars, and with no problems whatsoever regarding smoking.

There is however, one bar, called Posada Iberico, in Nerja where I have been going for many years, and know the owner, Paco, very well. I used to love ending our evenings in Paco’s, drinking Torres Diez Brandy, which he introduced me to, and smoking a good cigar, so off we went to Paco’s to suss out the situation there, bearing in mind that like Los Pajaritos in Almunecar, Paco’s is also situated in a narrow alley.

To my great disappointment, Paco had also succumbed to the ban, even though, once again, he is also a strong smoker. The first night we tried there, it was closed, although it was barely 11 pm, the second night, we tried it earlier, and found just a few people in there. I joined Paco out in the alley, where we both smoked cigarettes and spoke of the injustice of the ban, which has all but killed his business. The only gesture towards being smoker friendly was an ashtray placed on the seat of a motorbike parked outside. After a few visits, over the next few nights, mostly reserved to no more than two drinks each time, I think I managed to talk Paco into opening a window up, and having a shelf built outside, as a sort of mini-bar there. He said he intends doing this within the next week or so – we will see!

In the meantime, if I wanted to smoke a cigar, which normally takes an hour or so, and enjoy a brandy or two while doing so, we had to make our way back to one of the newer bars that have been purpose built with outside areas to accommodate smokers.

In a strange way, the smoking-ban has helped smokers in Spain, well at least in Andalucia, as more bars have been opened, but what worries me, is the small bars like Paco’s; will they end up like our British pubs, closed and eventually turned into shops or flats, or maybe even left empty and deserted?

My verdict then for smokers visiting this part of the country, is that there isn’t a major problem, but that is due mainly to the fine weather there for nearly all the year, not to their Government listening or trying to be fair, for they have a left wing Government, that are vary familiar in their outlook to our old Brown administration – and we all know where that led us to don’t we!

Want to be healthy? Ban Smoking? - No, stop breathing in traffic fumes!

Andrew Lansley, our new, and ever present Nanny, since Labour were thrown out of office, has been very busy of late, dreaming up yet more rules and regulations to install in us the "fact" that smoking is the biggest killer since Hitler!

The public must be protected from these ghastly creatures who smoke, he tells us, they are killing our children, polluting the atmosphere, and what's more, they stink, and cause you, the general public, to stink too, just by being anywhere near them.

The smoking-ban has already caused thousands of pubs, working men's clubs, bingo halls, and restaurants, to close down, as well as being the main cause of thousands of job losses. But, says Mr Lansley, none of this matters, if it helps save just one life.

Campaigners have pointed out to Mr Lansley, as they did his Labour predecessor, that there is a simple answer, which would help to keep all these pubs etc open, and save thousands of jobs, and that would be to allow a simple free choice to the public, of smoking or non-smoking venues, or at the very least, allow separate, well ventilated rooms in these venues, for people who wish to smoke.

Mr Lansley however, is adamant. He has decided not to give an inch on this issue. The very sight of a cigarette packet is enough to give him a heart attack, and again, he tells us, "we must think of the kiddies." All tobacco products must be sold in plain packs, they must be out of sight, even vending machines must be banned (more job losses).

It is the only way, he tells us. But hold on, other people, researchers, scientists, and study groups, beg to differ. "Want to keep your heart and lungs healthy?" they ask, "Simple, don't sit next to the photocopier, don't walk to near to busy traffic, buy some houseplants."

In other words, traffic pollution is revealed as a key cause of heart attacks and lung decease. And what do researchers tell us we should do to avoid such risks? Ban driving in public places? Ban all motor vehicle advertising? Treble the tax on motor vehicles and fuel? Force all car manufacturers to sell their vehicles using just one colour, and without any name attached?

Of course not, that would be rather silly wouldn't it, after all, we are all grown ups aren't we, and as such, should be entitled to make our own decisions, shouldn't we? Not according to Mr Lansley we shouldn't, well at least when it comes to his pet project, i.e. "smoking". There is only one way, he tells us, and that is by the use of force, we, the people are not capable of making our own minds up, we need Nanny Lansley to do it for us.

Personally, I put a lot more faith in the researchers who have carried out completely independent studies into the causes of heart and lung disease. They are not (as far as I know) in the pay of the Government or the pharmaceutical companies, and therefore worth reading and taking notice of. You can see the article here.

I just wish Mr Lansley would free his mind enough to read it and take notice of it.

PUBLIC ENQUIRY INTO THE SMOKING BAN

The time for chatting and moaning about what is wrong with the smoking-ban and the victimisation of between 20% and 25% of the adult population of this country has surely come to an end.

This terrible, and mean spirited ban cannot be allowed to continue in its present form any longer. It was introduced 3 years by the Labour Government, with a promise of a review in 3 years. That time has now passed, and no review has been held, and it would seem that our new Government, who promised to repeal all old Labour laws, which restricted people's freedom, has decided to completely overlook this one, and to comply with Labour's dictatorial impingement of people's rights.

We now need that review, along with an official enquiry into how the smoking-ban law was ever passed in the first place, as it came into being on the false premise that second-hand smoke seriously harmed those around it, and that by making this law, it would save the countless lives of bar staff and fellow workers in that industry. It is now a recognised fact that second-hand smoke is harmless.

Until now, the anti-smoking movement, has declined to enter into any debate on the subject, and insist that they are right in their assumptions (and that is all they are), and that the pro-smoking movement are totally wrong, even though they have scientific evidence to back up what they are saying.

A public enquiry, hearing both sides of the argument, with both sides presenting all any evidence they have, is the only fair way forward.

What is the smoking ban all about?

A lot of people lately have been saying that they just do not understand what the smoking-ban is all about. Why has this ban been foisted on us? After all, if we all suddenly stopped smoking, as we are led to believe that we should do, how on earth would the Government replace all the lost revenue from tobacco tax?
The NHS, which by all accounts is already in a terrible mess, would almost certainly collapse, income tax on everyone would need to rise sharply, and yes, wait for it, VAT would have to be raised yet again.
So what on earth can be the motivation behind the smoking-ban? The law was introduced on the false premise that it would help to safeguard the lives and health of bar and restaurant workers. From that weak excuse it has gone on to saving children's lives, not just when the toddler is enjoying a pint down the pub, but also when they are strapped into mummy or daddy's car. Plus of course, as we all know, there are those whose eyes weep, hair and clothes stink, and God help them, they have to actually wash more than their customary once a fortnight, if they have had the misfortune to come within 100 yards of a smoker.
This helps us to understand the kind of nuts we are up against, but it still doesn't explain why!
I have a new theory on "why". Not completely new, but it does help to explain a few things. For some years we have heard of the American theory, where "Big Pharma" was slowly but surely taking over the falling sales of the tobacco industry. I never quite bought into that one, as I thought what on earth can the so called Big Pharma have to sell, that the Americans would buy on such a constant basis as they did with cigarettes and cigars?
Last night however, I watched a tv documentary called "Zeitgeist". I only came in half way through it, and what I saw made me immediately sit up and take notice, as the comparisons in the way the American Government throughout the past 100 years or so, have sought to control their people, was on a direct par with the way our Government (especially the last Labour Government) has been controlling us.
The general idea behind this control, seems to be, get the public riled up enough and you can get them to agree with anything. Once the public are in agreement with any policy or conspiracy that particular government likes to put forward, then they are hooked, and you can tax them until they bleed, and the vast majority won't say a damn word.
A good example of this was during the first world war, when an English Ambassador asked his American counterpart, "What would America do if Germany sunk an ocean liner with American passengers on board?" To which the American replied "I believe that a flame of indignation would sweep through the United States and that by itself would be sufficient to carry us into the war"
A couple of weeks later the Lusitania was sunk and America entered the war.
Have a look at the film for yourself here

But be aware, the first half is mostly about religion, it warms up after that, and if you bear with it, I am sure you will be astounded by what you see and learn, as I was.

THE STINK

THE STINK

When did the stink first start, can anyone remember?
The stink that I am referring to is of course, that "horrible" smell of tobacco which we are told impregnates people’s clothes, their breath, and even their hair.
How many times do we hear about this terrible stink, we have even been bombarded with television adverts telling us of how bad we will smell if we smoke.
When I was a child and almost all adults smoked, the smell of cigarettes to me became a comforting smell. When my father came in and picked me up to say hello, the first thing I would smell was a heady mixture of tobacco and wood shavings, as my father was a cabinet maker and also a regular smoker, yes even in work where there were wood shavings and sawdust everywhere, smoking was still allowed. Not just allowed but encouraged, in fact so much so, that when Christmas came around, his boss would always give him a box of 50 or 100 cigarettes.
When my father hugged me and I smelled these aromas, I knew that they were the aromas of a good and honest working man, who loved me, and even today, I still associate these smells with love and honesty.
As I grew up, smoking and the smells of tobacco were still very socially acceptable, in fact when I was about ten years old, I used to collect cigarette packets, and if ever I found a rare American packet, the first thing I would do was smell the inside of the empty packet for that rich aroma that the American cigarettes then had. French cigarettes were even rarer, and almost cigar like in their smell, all of which I found delightful.
In my teens smoking was a very sexi thing to do, and a great way of chatting up girls. Offer them a cigarette and not only did it make you look more manly and grown up, it was also an easy way of introducing yourself. If a girl blew cigarette smoke towards you, in meant she fancied you, and if your cigarette burnt down one side, it meant somebody loved you. All very innocent stuff eh.
I think busses were the only places I knew of where one wasn’t allowed to smoke, although you could if you went upstairs, so needless to say, that is where all the "real men" sat, leaving the downstairs for old people and children.
A visit to the cinema was a wonderful thing as films were shown by projectors from the back of the theatre, meaning that these beautiful rays of flickering light would shine through the darkness, cutting their way through the whirling wisps of cigarette smoke that drifted up from probably 80% of the audience, as they relaxed and enjoyed a smoke whilst watching the film. I used to love looking up above me at the wonderful effects that this produced, sometimes it was almost better than the film.
Although I have always loved the smell of tobacco, I have never been a heavy smoker, in fact some people tell me that I am not a "real" smoker at all. The reason they say this, is because I do not inhale the smoke as most people do. I smoke purely because it relaxes me, I love the smell, and it reminds me of my childhood and far better times.
I never heard, in those early days, one person ever complain about the smell of cigarette smoke, and as far as I know, the smell hasn’t changed over the years, so why do we hear it so much now? I personally do not like the smell of chewing gum, but I wouldn’t dream of rudely waving my hand in front of people’s faces if they chewed in front of me. It is fast becoming almost like a civil war in this country, with smokers being verbally and mentally attacked and abused by a so called civilised society, the majority of whom, do not have enough common sense to question the blatant lies that this government have spread with regard to second hand smoke.
I am not absolutely sure when "the stink" first raised its smelly little head, maybe about ten years ago, could be more, but suddenly I started hearing about this awful smell, the smell of cigarettes on people’s clothing, their breath, and in their hair. I thought at first that maybe something was wrong with me, maybe I had lost my sense of smell. But that was impossible for I could smell everything else, flowers, food, wood, grass cuttings, all smells which I love, even the sickly smell of chewing gum, so why couldn’t I smell this so called awful smell of tobacco?
Today I either smoke cigars or Spanish cigarettes made with "black" tobacco, which isn’t actually black, it is just called that because like cigars it contains hardly any chemicals, just pure tobacco, and like cigars, the smell is delicious!
I quickly came to the conclusion that this so called awful smell of tobacco which I was then hearing about more and more, was made not by the normal tobacco companies, but by HM Gov.uk. In other words it was pure and simple propaganda, which I mistakenly thought at first would never catch on apart from the old lady "nanny" fraternity, if you’ll pardon the pun, which I certainly wasn’t a member of.
Now however it seems that time has definitely proven me wrong, for more and more people have been taken in by the big stink swindle, they have been led blindfolded into this government trap, and repeat this banal phrase verbatim. A few years ago these same people would have happily sat down to dinner besides smokers or stood in a bar beside some old boy rolling his Old Holborn into matchstick thin ciggies, but today, if they did the same, they would, in their brainwashed minds, certainly catch some terrible decease, and they would certainly come away stinking of something or other.
If only we could teach these poor ignorant people how to relax and enjoy life, if only they had experienced a marvellous life like I did, if only they would learn to question instead of accepting every dubious "fact" that is thrown at them. If only the stink from our hypocritical government would go away!

Save Our Pubs & Clubs: AmendTheSmokingBan.com is a coalition of groups and individuals who believe that the public smoking ban introduced in Scotland in 2006 and the rest of the United Kingdom in 2007 is excessive and should be amended to allow the opportunity to choose between smoking and no-smoking venues, as is currently the case in Germany and Spain.

If you believe in freedom of choice for all, then you should join this campaign by clicking on the logo above.